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Anyone who follows me on Twitter, or is a friend on Facebook will know I am a big fan of Mario Balotelli. The man is box office and as a top flight neutral I can’t help loving everything about the circus that goes with Mario Balotelli.
Yesterday, in a cracking game at the Etihad, Balotelli was once again at the centre of attention, plus ça change. He has be embroiled in a stamping controversy and I thought I would have my 2 cents. Now before I start I want to make it clear that on balance I think it is likely that there was malice in his intention, this isn’t some denial on my part. But “reckoning” and “knowing” something are two different things.
 Why always him?
And to be honest I am amazed at the certainty that many people seem to have over this incident. It is, I contend, far from clear cut. Sure it *looks* bad, in super slow mo (which doesn’t half exaggerate these things I think) but there is a definite “case for the defence”.
For me this is three pronged. Firstly MB was off balance, at no point until he was firmly on the floor was he entirely in control of his body he was falling over after a tremendously powerful shot and being tackled. Whether or not he deliberately stamped on Scott Parker he was obviously struggling to regain his footing, that is clear to all.
I don’t know if any of you readers have ever fallen over, I have many times. Being something of a clumsy git, tripping over things, missing a step, walking backwards etc. One of the common things I do in a desperate attempt to stay up is take loads of the little stuttering steps, throwing (more out of hope than expectation) my limbs around trying to gain balance, often with illogical or unnatural angles. I bet, had someone consistently been lying on the floor near me on at least one occasion there might have been a movement that looked like it was aimed at them. I think it is possible (though not probable) that MB was doing the same.
Secondly, but on a related note, is the issue of MB’s momentum. He was spinning around really fast having taken a hugely powerful shot and then been tackled. That momentum would inevitably leave people slightly disorientated as to where they were putting their foot down.
Lastly, and for my money most importantly, if you look at the whole thing Balotelli was never looking at Parker his view was consistently the other way. Now a professional athlete may well have been able to have a good idea of the spatial reasoning. But it certainly for me casts a little doubt.
Whilst the video footage does look undeniably damning I really do believe there is a degree of convicting based on the offender. No real way to quantify this, but I am utterly convinced dad it been “Honest” Scotty Parker who did this to Balotelli, then I have **no** doubt whatsoever that a huge amount of the people damning MB would be pointing to the momentum, balance, and line of sight issues to claim that it was accidental and looked worse than it was because of the slow mo.
The last thing is on the basis of the timing. With repeated viewing on super slow-mo it is easy to get the impression that this is something planned, and carried out in cold blood. If you watch it in real time it is only a second or so from the attempted shot to MB being on the floor. So even if he did try to stand of Parker on purpose it is very different from what, say Pepe did though this of course would not in any way excuse a deliberate stamp.
But whilst I probably lean toward it being intentional (even if I think there is enough “plausible deniability” for him to get away with this) one thing I am convinced of, with 100% certainty is that this was not aimed at the head specifically (as Paul Hayward in the Telegraph and many other seem to be suggesting today). Given the momentum, speed of movement, the lack of balance and the direction of Balotelli’s sight he would have to be a Jedi to have known exactly where any part of Parker was and if he was stamping on purpose (a pretty heinous sin wherever aimed) then going for the head just cannot be credibly aimed at him.
So a pretty half arsed “defence”. I guess I am more arguing that the case is far form proven than that he didn’t stamp.
On the game though what a cracker it was huh? Not sure I buy into the Sky hyperbole of the Premier League being “The most exciting league on the planet™” (for my money this season Serie A has been streets ahead in terms of entertainment) but it certainly was an exciting and interesting game (if we conveniently ignore the entire first half). It seems a shame for Spurs that they failed to get anything because they really did play well, but on these kind of narrow margins the wheat gets sorted from the Chaff. I don’t think either of the teams on display at the Etihad will be lifting the trophy mind because annoyingly I am increasingly convinced that it is going back to Old Trafford.
 Britain's next heavyweight champ?
On Saturday I also watched the David Price vs John McDermott fight for the English heavyweight belt. The domestic Heavyweight scene is quite interesting at the moment with Price, Chisora and Fury all around (heck even Fraudley is making yet another ill fated comeback). In truth Price is the one I have seen the least of but he was frankly top draw on Saturday.
Yes McDermott was embarrassingly out of shape (I wonder how much better he would have done if he had the discipline to look the part. Maybe in the unfair close decisions little things make the difference?) but he has always looked a little flabby and has been a credible performer for a while. It is a truism that you can only beat what is in front of you and David Price looked like a future world champ in this comprehensive first round stoppage.
He is now the mandatory to Tyson Fury for the British belt and I for one would love to see it. You always get the impression Fury would happily have a fight with anyone in the local park so I doubt he would duck it, I do wonder if his “people” might think a little differently on the evidence of Saturday.
Right now I reckon Price wins, but I would love to see the fight if Fury could actually get in shape and do some real work in the gym on defence and footwork with a top trainer, that would be some fight. Either way a properly competitive fight, especially if on terrestrial TV has to be good for the sport of boxing and I for one cannot wait.
UPDATE 1.
Since publishing this Balotelli has been charged with violent conduct by the FA. Will be interesting to see if he contests the charge. My understanding is that it is only on appeal that you can get the extra game ban (if frivilous) and that there is no penalty for requesting a personal hearing. Watch this space huh? Also interesting that Lescott wasn’t charged (I’d say his offence was just as blatant as Balotelli’s).
“Who ate none of the pies
Who ate none of the pies…..”
 Fat holiday snap.
Ealier this year I visit the Doctor about (amongst other things, I am a massive hypochondriac) a vague feeling that I was starting to get a little fleshy. I had just seen some holiday snaps form when me and my brother went to see the olds in Portugal and frankly it was hard to pretend that I wasn’t well, frankly, a bloater. I am a vain, vain man who really likes few things more than gazing lovingly into my own eyes in the mirror so in truth I had rather been aware of this for a while, clearly retaining some cognitive dissonance that allowed me to recognise it was truth, but act as if it wasn’t, the pictures though somewhat snapped me out of it.
The Doc decided that I had not had any blood work done for about 10 years so sent me of for amongst other things a cholesterol test. I got the results a little over 6 months ago. When I went in for the results the Doc made what I had initially assumed to be small talk, he knows I am a Trade Union rep and often talks to me about political issues and struck up a conversation about the looming pensions dispute for public sector workers. He casually asked me if I paid into the Royal Mail pension scheme. I replied that I did, and the Doc looked at his screen and tapped away for a second….
He then looked at me and said (with to be fair a mischievous grin on his face, the Doc knows me well) “Really Ralph, unless you do something about this weight situation there really isn’t much point. You’d be better off enjoying your money now”. Or words to that effect.
“Oh!”
Yup, Oh! was about the some total of my reaction. As it turns out it wasn’t all that bad news the Doc realising that for an attention seeking melodramatic fellah like myself the best avenue was to go for a big showy entry. Turns out my Cholesterol was 5.9, when they advise you to be under 5. So nothing dangerous in my numbers; but combined with a bit of a history of bum tickers in my male genealogy, and the fact that despite being pretty short my weight had crept up to 14st 4 I was looking at a cocktail that probably wouldn’t be all that conducive to a long and healthy life. Also I was finding it increasingly hard to find trousers that would fit someone with my combination of fat belly and short legs.
So for once I couldn’t ignore all of this and set to trying to deal with the situation. And instead of just going on a stupid rash diet like I had done in the past I decided to actually, you know, change my living habits to a bit more of a healthy way of doing things. Being a pretty nifty cook I quickly found that rather than being a massive chore, trying to eat more healthily was fun. Experimenting with food, and trying out different things meant I was actually eating loads nicer food that I had been, well, at any time since I left home TBH.
And I decided I would be good, but not puritanical. My Saturday morning Bacon buttie was sacrosanct (Though I did accept the need to trim the fat and grill rather than fry). And I decided that if I ever got a massive, massive craving for something I was just going to have it and be good afterwards. So I have had a couple of takeaway pizzas and that. But mostly I have been sensible and disciplined in a way I wasn’t really sure I could.
 Slim me with clearly defined Jaw bone and everyfink!
Today I went back to the Docs to get my after 6 month follow up results. And the good news is my Cholesterol is now down to 4.2, and as of today I weigh only 11st 7! (That is 161lbs to any American readers, 73 Kilos to those from the civilised world and Middleweight to fight fans!). I am wearing a medium T-Shirt and got some 32″ waist jeans. To say I am highly delighted is an understatement. And, I am now officially “not fat”. This works out to a BMI of 24.5, so I am just, just, within “normal” tolerances. Woo-hoo! And, if that wasn’t good news enough the Doc also mentioned my Liver and Kidney function was exceptionally good! This, as I understand it means I have a green light to drink as much as I bloody well like over Christmas! Hell yeah!
The Doc says he would still like me to get the Cholesterol down a little further, saying I should aim to be about 4 or just under, and that I should aim to lose another half stone or so (I wouldn’t mind being a Welterweight, watch out Floyd Mayweather Jnr here I come !) but I am nearly there. I don’t know of how much interest this blog will really be to anyone else but for me it felt good to get this down in writing. Additionally I am hoping that having so publicly crowed about this it will help motivate me to get back on the wagon if I slip up and go on a Partridge-esque Toblerone binge.
Right I’m off to raid the cupboard for some Riveta and Celery!

I had some fresh Tarragon left over from cooking (extremely nice) Haddock Provençal the other day and thus was seeking an appropriate nice use for it that fitted in with my low cholesterol diet.
The following is basically an amalgamation of about three or four different recipes and some suggestions off twitter. Should serve two.
This was awesome!
Ingredients
3 Chicken Breasts
3 Large cloves Garlic
Lemon Juice
Tarragon
1 Onion
Dijon Mustard
Reduced fat Crème Fraiche
Black Pepper
Cherry Tomatoes
Olive Oil
Tagliatelle
In a roasting dish liberally pour some olive
Continue reading Tarragon and Dijon Chicken with Tagliatelle

What all the fuss is about!
So this Google Plus is the new black right? I may not be a devoted follower of fashion, but as a full on Neophile I cannae resist a new technology-ey thing! And seeing as all the cool kids are on Google Plus (all right none of the cool kids, but all the geeks, nerds and internet weirdos are!) I was desperate to give it a go.
Thanks to an internet pal Mr603 of Unmemorable Title, an SEO guru (Yay!) and a big Leeds United fan
Continue reading My take on Google Plus

Like pretty much everyone else I have been utterly astonished, horrified and disgusted by the recent “News of the world” hacking allegations. It beggars belief that something so crass and awful could have happened. In pursuit of a gutter press story giving false hope to the parents of a missing girl.
Being a politico, a blogger, a follower of the media and a subscriber to Private Eye I have been following this story with interest for quite some time, and been pretty disappointed that the story didn’t capture the popular imagination
Continue reading Phone Hacking, Tabloids and Collusion
Been experimenting quite a lot in the kitchen of late due to my low cholesterol diet. If I am entirely honest the results have been decided mixed, but last night we had one in the “win” column and I thought I’d publish it here (as much so I don’t forget how I did it as thinking my readers might be interested!).
So I wanted something spicy, and Sugar Snap Peas were on offer in Morrisons and this is what I came up with.
Ingredients
300g Diced Chicken
Continue reading Harissa Chicken with Spiced Cous Cous
This item was published first on LaboutList at the following URL
http://www.labourlist.org/there-is-nothing-wrong-with-discrimination
Yesterday I read with interest Ian Silvera’s LabourList post “How to get more women and ethnic minorities into politics: the sober way”.
Ian started by saying “Positive discrimination is oxymoronic”. And for me this is the essence of where both Ian’s article, and argument, goes wrong. Let’s be clear about this – there is nothing necessarily wrong with discrimination. That might seem an odd thing for a Labour activist to say but it is true.
Our society discriminates all the time, with
Continue reading There is nothing wrong with discrimination.
 I have not posted an recipes here at Lunchtime Legend since the end of Vegtember. But I recently discovered my Cholesterol levels were a bit high (and I also realised I was becoming a big fat pig!) so have embarked on a low cholesterol diet. Thinking differently about cooking always sparks my muse a little and therefore I am on one at the moment so regular readers might see a few of these.
In my RSS feed James Ramsden’s new post about a Mackerel, Oyster and Wasabi roll (and Jeez
Continue reading Warm mackerel, wild rice and roasted vegetable salad
 Well for a variety of reasons Lunchtime Legend has been gathering dust for the last few weeks so I thought it was about time I posted something here!
Plymouth Argyle
And the topic is going to be one of my familiar tropes, football democracy. On Saturday I received my membership card for the Argyle Fans Trust. Around the same time as the news was breaking that the players and staff had once again not been paid by the club.
Whilst it had started to look like the club was moving in the
Continue reading Argyle Fans Trust.

Supporting a lower league side means that as a top flight neutral you can engage without fear of reprisals mercilessly joshing your compadre’s who have “second teams” (often first teams TBH) in the top flight. I have an unusually large number of Liverpool supporting pals, which is a little odd given the geographical distance between Plymouth and Liverpool. However I am sure they all have bona fida reasons for supporting Liverpool, their milkmans sisters cat once went to Merseyside or something and it has nothing to do with Liverpool being the dominant force when we were growing
Continue reading Liverpool, Spurs and the Europa League.
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